This is the documentation of a "letsmakeamovie" workshop as part of the movie programme called Free Cinema on Tilos Radio Hungary.
Participants of the 3rd edition: 11/06/2009
Editors: Killa Köllő (Trillian), Luca Pályi (http://freikino.blogspot.com/)
Current guest, expert: Balázs Lovas, scriptwriter, Fade In Script Consulting
DJ: Turiszt
We have discussed 2 synopsis-like materials during the programme. The first one (Hajnlanka and the Bank Robber) can be read here. The second (Survivor Trip Hen Night) can be read here.
In this edition, we picked to pieces two writings, both somewhere between a synopsis and a logline, whose key issue were still: „ where would we like the story to lead up?”, that is what should be the essence of the dénouement? It is worth to approach the problem taking the main character into consideration: what is her problem of life, what opportunities will be offered by the forthcoming change, how will our character size it?
A feature film is usually constituted of 3 main parts, just as we have learnt in school: introduction – rising action – dénouement. When we strike out the end of the story, it is crucial to at least roughly presume the questions raised by the film (introduction) and the answers to these questions (dénouement) to be able to see the potentials of the movie. This can be followed by the elaboration of the characters, and than it’s possible that the whole story will change. Thus the synopsis will earn its final shape after the most important part of the process, the elaboration of the characters, since the presentment of the characters and the „treatment” (action plot in a prosaic format) add up to constitute the final shell of the movie: out of it will the script born.
It is worth thinking about the back-story of our main characters (backstory, life story before the time of the film): it is good to know where they came from and what they make for. We should write a 1 or 2 page long presentment of the characters, which will be able to point a direction to the scriptwriter and the director. We should find functions for the sidemen as well, mostly in the case of a comic movie: their back-stories don`t have to be as detailed as those of the main characters, but it can be useful to find the main characteristics. It doesn`t pay to implement too many (side)characters, it would just overcomplicate our story.
1. The story of the bank robber, written by Yvonne.
Hajnalka is a bank administrator, a lonely, single woman, who was left by his last boyfriend (that turd Tibor). The security guard of the bank, Laci would like to squire her, but she refuses to pay attention to this, instead she spends her spare time checking Tibor’s iwiw data or daydreaming: she sees herself as a masked bank robber, covering her customers with a gun. Just until her imaginations become real: bank robbers try to take Hajnalka hostage, who simply and laconically says no. Or yes - it is to be decided upon further considerations, but the main point of the idea is that she will become the employee of the year by the end of the movie.
According to Balázs, this frame story would be enough for approximately 15 or 20 minutes in film-time, although it contains a lot of interesting turns. It is worthwhile unfolding the bank robbery, the hostage from the aspect of the more and more gripping character of the heroine: e.g. someone else could say no and she could take on the exciting role of the hostage.
Since she is terribly bored by her job, she could say yes to get some thrill into her life, and than she could ’join in’ or disarm the bank robber and step down with the money. She could even take a train to save the train chase scene.
In case if she is opened the door to the plucky change, the key question arises: to what extend the bank robbery affects her personality?: Will the dormant power shoot out of her, while she will still seem milquetoastish, so that she will be able to sleekly elude and disarm the bank robber? Or will she volunteer for hostage, so that the upcoming episodes will entail a series of funny situations?
The amorous leading man Laci could follow the bank robber, but then Tibor could show up or Hajnalka could call for him.
After the starting sequences of the story (bank robbery, getaway, disarmament at an unguarded moment) can the unfolding of the message take place – that is to say we have to search for Hajnalka’s goals. What does she want to do with money: bring it back to the bank or keep it? Since the situation is the frustrated and suppressed girl’s first and only opportunity to get away and rebel. How does she handle the situation? Will she try to get Tibor back (by compelling him with the money or by literally buying his love back?), or when things have fallen out well, will she become Laci’s lover or the bank robber’s lover?
Here manifested the importance of the 4 main characters – Hajnalka, the Bank Robber, Tibor and Laci.
It can touch up the movie to implement some comic potential into the characteristics of the characters (e.g. Hajnalka’s and the Bank Robber’s personalities could be poles apart, just like in a classic action comedy), and then to shake them together or put them in touch with each other by the rising action. Moreover, in case they are given a flaw, it can be entertaining for the spectator to realise how they cannot see their own limits or how they learn to handle them only by the end of the film.
Hajnalka’s back-story lies in the elaboration of the character: how did she behave in school? (was she popular?), does she have friends, how did her private life work out, what are her most important frustrations (what does she hate or admire in others – this is almost psychology: she is looking for her own dark side in others), what are her strenghts, her fears? It is crucial to set up the mask of the main character: what image would she like to show to the outside world or to herself? Of these elements will her true self emerge by handling the crisis – these psychical factors can serve as the source of the story. The mask is the tool for self-defense, only after its formulation can turn out what hides behind it. Or does she show her face nice and happy for her customers, but when she turns aways her sad life reveals? The sad life of which she would like to break out, or to prove herself, her parents or Tibor with whom she would like to travel to a faraway island? So that she has plans with the money?
2. The hen night story, written by Trillian
The main character is Hanna the bride (26), and her friends organize a hen night for her: she receives messages, the first one right after waking up that contains a path marked with playful task. The different stations are supposed to prepare her for the life of a married woman, so that by the end of the day, having her fears gotten rid of, she arrives at the site of the wedding tired, but prepared and hardened.
The movie, according to the original conceptions, would start as a light comedy, then it would turn out to be a terrific survivor trip, thus becoming an action movie.
Ideas for turns in the movie: she would enter a bank by accident, where she would be taken hostage in the course of a bank robbery or at a railway station of a hick town in course of receiving the next message. In this case she and the spectators are not supposed to know whether the robbery is part of the game or not. Her friends should then find out that something is going wrong, and some of them should start on her rescue.
According to Balázs’s remarks showing up of the kidnapper can change the orientation of the story, so that we should secede from this situation and create some other situation of violence.
The 'insighting incident' seems to be cool: the story starts zippy, by a sudden turn to upset the balance of the main character’s everyday, and the appearance of the kidnapper can spice up the story in case this turn of the story happens near the 20th minute of the time of the movie, but it is a must to look strictly to keep ourselves to the main line.
The film doesn’t like accidental events or constrained situations, and the meeting at the station seems to be just of this kind. In classic stories the causality and the successiveness of action and reaction are essential. It is important to keep the logic of the story, the main line, that is to say when an obviously constrained event gets into it, that doesn’t follow from a decision of the character, there is a chance that the spectator will lose the thread. Thus, accidental events should rather be used to start the story, but we must not solve the story this way, because it feels as a remote deus ex machina. To keep our spectators it is worth staying consistent during the build-up of the genre: to rough out a light and romantic or an action-thriller-like genre movie or an intentionally mixed one, and keep ourselves to this one all along.
So our main character is soon to be married, what could she have on her mind? Her fears? Maybe she doesn’t know how to be a good wife, and that is what she will have to get over through the plot, just as it would be a crash-course? The mask of the good wife offers itself, but the terrific truth is: she is unaware of the finality of the decision. The main line of the movie should hence be the presentation of the flaws, or she should fight her kidnapper (rescuer?) instead.
Where is the wannabe husband all this time? Is it necessary to show him or would it be better, as a stylistic knack, NOT to reveal him? According to Trillian he is not part of the message, which is about the personal fears of the girl, so that he shouldn’t show up at least until the end of the film (happy ending).
According to Balázs these fears could more tightly connect to the fiance’s character, his appearance provides too many opportunities to be missed out. He should find out that her bride has been kidnapped, and he should follow her, or he could organize the kidnapping himself (of which a romance arises later on) to read the chick a lesson. There is the possibility to include junctures like psychological games, beautiful (spiritual) struggles, and our main character could become a better man, prepared for the marriage.
In the next edition we will continue dissecting further synopses.
